suspense is driving me crazy


Posted by clara allen , Mar 01,2001,09:54   Archive
HI EVERYBODY, SORRY I HAVE NOT POSTED FOR A WHILE. I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING VERY WELL PHYSICALLY, BUT MENTALLY I AM KEEPING MY SPIRITS UP. I WILL BE STARTING TRAINING ON J.A.W.S WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK. J.A.W.S IS A COMPUTER SCREEN READING PROGRAM FOR PEOPLE WITH VISUAL DISABILITIES. IT VIRTUALLLY READS TO YOU WHAT IS ON THE SCREEN.

SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY (WHICH I APPLIED FOR TWO MONTHS AGO) CALLED ME AND TOLD ME THEY NEEDED NO FURTHER INFORMATION AND WAS ABLE TO MAKE A DECISION ON MY CLAIM BASED ON THE MEDICAL EVIDENCE THEY HAD. I DID NOT NEED TO SEE ANOTHER DOCTOR, FILL OUT ANY MORE PAPERS OR ANYTHING. HE SAID I WOULD HEAR FROM THEM WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. THAT WAS A WEEK AGO, HAVE NOT RECEIVED LETTER YET. THE SUSPENSE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

SOMETIMES I THINK IT HAS BEEN APPROVED, THEN I THINK IT HAS BEEN FLAT OUT DENIED. WHAT DO YOU THINK?




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Re : suspense is driving me crazy --- clara allen
Posted by Moderator-JB , Mar 01,2001,10:38 Top of Thread Archive
Clara:

Just my guess, but if they were going to deny you, they probably would have told you so. They would also have sent you to their doctors for 1 or two examinations. That's the way it went for me anyway.

Good luck!

Judy




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Re: suspense is driving me crazy

Re : suspense is driving me crazy --- clara allen
Posted by grace anne , Mar 01,2001,11:16 Top of Thread Archive
I agree with Judy. It seemed that at the stage you are talking about in your post, they mean they have everything they need to make a decision, but I think it now goes to the actual decision makers, and based on what they said about having all they need and not needing any further of anything, I wouldn't worry. I'm sure you will be approved. Looking forward to hearing the good news.

graceanne in Port Orchard




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Re: suspense is driving me crazy

Re : suspense is driving me crazy --- clara allen
Posted by Sally - in - Idaho , Mar 01,2001,13:23 Top of Thread Archive
Hi Clara, I am thinking POSITIVE for you and waiting to read your good news. Glad your mental spirits are in good shape.

Sally in North Idaho




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Re: suspense is driving me crazy

Re : suspense is driving me crazy --- clara allen
Posted by becca , Mar 01,2001,14:49 Top of Thread Archive
how long had you been out of work? I want to apply but I'm afraid of being denied. I'll be off work for 20 days on March 20th. I really can't do my job but I feel guilty about asking for ssd or ssi. I just don't know how to feel anymore. I don't feel capable anymore. I'm not a whole person . Now I need to cry ....... see you later



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Re: suspense is driving me crazy to CLARA AND BECCA

Re : Re: suspense is driving me crazy --- becca
Posted by June in Toronto (June Floyd,June in Toronto), Mar 01,2001,15:08 Top of Thread Archive
Clara, I'm sure you will get your benefits - just hang in there for another week and it'll happen - it sure sounds positive to me.

Becca - a good cry does us all good (if you're like me and have dry eyes all the time)! You are, indeed, a whole person, its this disease that gets in the way of our life. But life goes on, we change our way of living and find good things in what we do. Perhaps you need more time off - I'm not from the U.S. so don't know exactly how things work there. Can you get more short-term sick leave - 20 days is hardly anytime to regroup, rethink, etc.? Please stay strong - don't be afraid of applying for long-term disability and being denied - you can always (if this were ever to happen) appeal, appeal and appeal again. I did just that and it finally worked. I knew I could no longer work (although I tried very hard to) - it was impossible, and I just had to convince them of that. Good luck.

Hugs to you both

June in Toronto




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Re: suspense is driving me crazy to CLARA AND BECCA

Re : Re: suspense is driving me crazy to CLARA AND BECCA --- June in Toronto
Posted by Christel-California , Mar 02,2001,00:30 Top of Thread Archive
Clara, I agree with the others. I think your situation sound very positive and you'll be getting the good news very soon. Don't frazzle yourself, not good for your condition.

Becca, I know just how you feel. When I was first told that I have an incurable neurological condition I felt like only half a person and it took me a while to adjust and realize that I'm not my disease. I fortunately never had to go the SSI OR SSID route, but as Dee said, you should not feel guilty asking for something that you are ENTITLED to.
You didn't ask for this disease and are not responsible for getting it.
Perk up and feel better, we are all here for you.
Good luck and hugs to both of you.
Chritel in Ca.




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Re: suspense is driving me crazy

Re : Re: suspense is driving me crazy --- becca
Posted by clara allen , Mar 01,2001,16:43 Top of Thread Archive
BECCA GO AHEAD AND CRY, IF NOTHING ELSE IT HELPS DRY EYES. I HAVE BEEN OFF FROM WORK ON SHORT TERM DISABILITY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF OCTOBER LAST YEAR. I HAD A FULL MYECTOMY IN DECEMBER. IT DID NOT IMPROVE THE SPASMS TO A DEGREE TO WHERE THE BOTOX COULD WORK EFFECTIVELY. I REALLY THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO RETURN TO WORK AFTER THE SURGERY BUT IT DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY. I AM STILL ONLY ABLE TO BRIEFLY OPEN MY EYES. THEY ARE CLOSED MOST OF THE TIME. I HAVE NOT DRIVEN IN OVER TWO YEARS NOW, CAN NOT WATCH TV AND CAN ONLY READ FOR A MOMENT IN BETWEEN SPASMS.

YOU MUST HAVE NOT WORKED FOR FIVE MONTHS BEFORE YOU CAN QUALIFY FOR SSD OR SSI. IT IS HARD FINANCIALLY BUT WHEN IT GETS BAD ENOUGH AND NOTHING IS HELPING THE SPASMS, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. MY INSURANCE COMPANY SEVERAL TIMES HAS PUT MY DISABILITY PAYMENTS ON HOLD FOR UP TO A MONTH WHILE THEY WAIT FOR THE DOCTOR TO SEND THEM AN UPDATE. I JUST PAY WHAT I CAN AND FIGURE THINGS WILL WORK OUT EVENTUALLY.

HANG IN THERE.......

CLARA IN OHIO




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Re: suspense is driving me crazy

Re : Re: suspense is driving me crazy --- becca
Posted by colleen , Mar 01,2001,19:01 Top of Thread Archive
Becca never feel like you are not a whole person. We are all the same people that we were before beb.When the Doc. told me i had beb it was a shock to me , but i told my self after a while that i could handle it. Then a year later he told me that i had Parkinson also i lost it felt like you do now cried all the time couldn,t sleep did not want to do anything,after a while that feeling passed i kkow that i am the same person.So hang in there.So glad i found the bb it is really nice to hear from others
Iknow the waiting is hard for you &clara allen stay strong

God Bless you both
Colleen





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Re: suspense is driving me crazy

Re : Re: suspense is driving me crazy --- becca
Posted by Dee in OR (Dee L.,Dee in OR), Mar 01,2001,22:05 Top of Thread Archive
Becca,

I cried when I read your post. You are still a whole, capable person. You HAVE a disorder, you are NOT THE DISORDER. And as far as feeling guilty for asking for SSDI - well I have a lot to say about that but I can't say it here. I will say though that you deserve and are entitled to SSDI or SSI because you have paid into it. You are not asking for anything that is not yours or that you have not worked for and earned! I do understand your feelings though. I have been on SSDI since 1990 (37 yrs. old). When I was diagnosed with dystonia in 1997 and could no longer work, I felt like such a worthless piece of doo doo. I had my own business that I had to give up because of this darn disorder. I still have my bad moments but I also have all of you, my friends, who love me and don't even know me or who love me in spite of knowing me!!!!! There's a saying "out of chaos comes order" and out of this disorder comes rich, loving friendships, challenges that I never thought I would be capable of conquering, and because I am on SSDI, I have the time to do some good for others like education about the blephs or dystonia or the medications that cause dystonia. So I had to take the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference! Hang in there Becca and stick with us - you'll be able to move mountains by the time we are done with you!! Oh, and one more thing - it's ok to feel guilty, feel guilty all you want, then go down and apply for SSDI!

Love from Dee in OR




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Re: Go ahead and cry

Re : Re: suspense is driving me crazy --- becca
Posted by Sally - in - Idaho , Mar 02,2001,01:29 Top of Thread Archive
Go ahead and cry, Becca. Sometimes that's the only thing that helps. We're all here to catch your tears in a bucket and to dry your eyes when you're ready.

A big hug.

Sally in North Idaho




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