Blepharospasm Bulletin Board

the chicken or the egg Any ANswers
Posted by: catherine pender
02/29/2004, 11:36:46

Right now I am in a big funk. It started on CHristmas day. I hate it. Last September I was feeling sad and could not figure out why. My life is going great and we were getting ready to move 6 blocks away to a new house. Things should of been great. The doctor put me on doctor put me on Paxil. Around May I was feeling so much better that I weaned myself off them and also my HRT which I had been on for 5 years. The summer was great and when I got home from the cottage in September I started with a Personal Trainer. I have lost some weight but the best part is I lost inches and was feeling on top of the world. My eyes were great. The best they had ever been since the onset of BEB . I contributed it to finding a new doctor.

On Dec 14th I had botox. More this time. On Christmas day it was like BAM. My mood shifted and I became easily aggitated. I declared at the table I was not doing Christmas dinner again! I had Christmas eve with 11 people and then 9 on Christmas day. Ever since then my eyes have been not very good. Not bad, just not the way it was the past 8 months. I am back to not sleeping well and having to take something for it every couple of nights.

So I ask is it because the botox did not work as well this time or are my eyes not as good because I am feeling anxious for what every reason. . I started the HRT (all natural) last night thinking maybe that was the cause. I have stuck with the trainer, husband is retiring in October (which I am happy about) I'm taking a interior decorating course. I keep very busy.

I hate this yoyo feeling that I am on right now, so is it the eyes causing the anxiety or the otherway around????????????????

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Re: the chicken or the egg Any ANswers
Re: the chicken or the egg Any ANswers -- catherine pender Top of thread Archive
Posted by: Lynn Yarbrough
02/29/2004, 17:48:49

Hi, Cathrerine,

Of course I don't fully understand your situation, but I have had similar reactions to stressful situations, and I think I understand what you are going through. Christmas is a stressful time for anyone in a position fo responsibility, and that stress agravates the BEB and feeds even more stress back on you. While your desire is to share a loving time with family members, sometimes it's just more than your system can take. Dealing with a new person, or a branch of the family that you haven't engaged in a while, can kick off a flurry of fluttering eyelids.

What I have to do in those situations is to try to get the stress under control: pass off some of the responsibility, avoid people who are difficult, kick back more frequently than usual, maybe a muscle relaxant or simply some tea to cool things down a bit. Long term you will have to learn more stress management (not to say anger mg't!) and stay cool longer. Stress always makes my BEB worse.

Good luck!

--- Lynn

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Re: the chicken or the egg Any ANswers
Re: the chicken or the egg Any ANswers -- catherine pender Top of thread Archive
Posted by: June in Toronto
02/29/2004, 20:19:16

Hi Catherine, I can understand how, after things were going so well for you for quite a while, that you are upset now that they aren't - maybe it will change again for the better soon. If I even contemplated having 11 people and then another 9 the day after for dinner - I'm be absolutely `fit to be tied' - totally stressed out. I owe so many people meals that last week I had 3 people over and then another 2 on the weekend. I cook everything from scratch - appetizers, soup, main meal and dessert (no sugar) and find it a great effort. I have to start chopping vegetables about 4 days ahead, then make the soup another day, then the dessert another day and so on - all ahead of time. Its the only way I can get through and not be so distraught on the actual day (each day is busy with a fitness class every morning and an eye rest every afternoon plus the usual household chores. Sometimes we simply buy friends a meal out and have on other occasions ordered in and I've just made a salad and dessert to go with the meal. It all works out somehow and as long as we get together with family and friends that's really the main thing. I think its very important not to be anti-social - sometimes its easier to be so, but not good for us imho.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way right now - please keep up the fitness and good nutritional eating - it all helps keep our body strong to deal with this beb disease we have. From remembering your past posts you seem to have been going, going, going with remodelling a house (if I remember correctly) travelling here and there and selling and buying a new home. Perhaps your body is trying to tell you to slow down a bit, get more R&R and be good to yourself. May this soon past. Take care

June in Toronto who had such a terrible time (again) with flashing cameras on Friday evening, I stayed home all day Saturday to recuperate.

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Re: the chicken or the egg Any ANswers
Re: the chicken or the egg Any ANswers -- catherine pender Top of thread Archive
Posted by: Kathleen
03/01/2004, 09:01:30

Catherine, do you have a good medical doctor you see? Sometimes symptoms like yours are related to hormonal imbalances, especially since you had been on HRT, you may be having some rebound effects from going off. I am certainly not an expert with this BEB stuff yet, but I do know that I have had to curtail my 1000 mile an hour lifestyle a bit. Even though I didn't feel stressed, I find I do better when I limit some of my activities and take time to rest and relax a little more. I do know, though, that the one thing that causes a sharp increase in my stress level is when my eyes are bad, which in turn causes me to feel depressed. So, then that brings me back to slowing down and taking time to relax.

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