DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD


Posted by Becca , Dec 09,2001,16:56   Archive
HELLO EVERYONE, I have question for all of you who are parents of girls
My 17 yr old is desperate for a boyfriend . she hasn't had a boyfriend. She isn't bad looking or over weight. she is 5' 3 . she wants me to find a boyfriend for her. Is she crazy or what? I don't know what to tell her.



Recommend Current pageAuthor Profile
Replies to this message


Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Becca
Posted by Dee in OR , Dec 09,2001,19:02 Top of Thread Archive
Hi Becca,

I don't think it is your job to find your daughter a boyfriend. I also don't think not having a boyfriend at 17 is such a bad thing. Am I weird or what? I remember at that age, guys being so possessive and I was such a "free spirit". I know, this isn't helping you or your daughter any. Why is she so desperate for a boyfriend? I believe that when the time is right it will happen and you can't make it happen any sooner than that! Does she think having a boyfriend will make her a better person? IT WON'T! And does she know that 17 year old boys are about as emotionally mature as 14 or 15 year old boys? This is bringing out the therapist in me so I better stop here. Let me know if I can help in any other way.

Dee in OR




Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Becca
Posted by Carol Brown , Dec 09,2001,19:37 Top of Thread Archive
Hi Becca My advice for your daughter is this: 17 is still very young. She has her whole life before her. Just work on becomming the person she wants to be and focus on that. The rest will come. I guess the reason I feel this way is because I fell in love with the first guy that came along (I was 18). I married him, had two children and then after 7 years, he walked out on us. So much for that. I was unskilled, so had to start all over. I think you get the message. If I had to do it all over again, I would become totally independent, have a good career and then worry about the rest later. Of course, that was a long time ago, I'm remarried and have been for 26 years. I quess along with age, comes wisdom, huh?

Carol Brown in Naselle, WA where it's COLD!!!!




Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Becca
Posted by Shirley-Arkansas-USA , Dec 09,2001,19:59 Top of Thread Archive
Hi Becca,
First of all, I don't think that she really expects you to find her a boyfriend. She probably wouldn't care for who you picked out for her. :-)
I'd suggest that she get involved in some clubs at school or church groups that do things together with boys and girls. School clubs usually have boys and girls in them. They sometimes have outings and do volunteer work in the community. If she has any hobbies that might involve the male gender, this could be a start. Dog training classes have both boys and girls attending. Use something that she is interested in and have her follow that in a way that she would get out and meet people. I think more than actually being desperate to have a boyfriend, she may be at a loss as to how to meet boys in a safe way. Does she have a job? Some jobs are great places to meet guys and other girls. From a grocery store to a discount store, there will be lots of jobs for teenagers her age (even at the local mall) where she would meet other teens that are working and that she could get to know and become friends with. I believe that is what she really wants and then she would be able to make her own choice in time.
She just needs to get out in some of the above mentioned ways and mingle. Others may have some other suggestions for you and her. I remember being 17 and wanting a boyfriend really bad. I was very shy and getting a job at the local pharmacy was a big step in the right direction for me. Good luck to both of you.
I don't have any daughters but I do have an 18 and a 20 year old son. Neither of them have a girlfriend right now so let her know that not everyone has a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Shirley in Arkansas




Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Becca
Posted by kathy , Dec 10,2001,07:56 Top of Thread Archive
she might be searching for a part of herself she feels is incomplete without another person. so these solutions of encouraging her interests in the company of the other sex are really good ones and broaden her horizons. maybe this is also peer pressure, from her other girlfriends who have boyfriends. Tell her it's not very fun being stuck with someone who insists you share all of his interests and hers are denied.



Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Becca
Posted by Kelly Saffell , Dec 10,2001,08:08 Top of Thread Archive
My girls are no where close to being teenagers but I still remember those years very vividly. I actually married my high school sweetheart. We have now been married over 12 years. But I didn't give up college and career because of our relationship. I have to agree with Shirley. Maybe she could become involved in school and church clubs. Most youth groups at church are very active and would be a good place to meet boys. Sporting events, choir, band, honor society... She should just be herself and the rest will follow.

Kelly (I'll be 33 in a couple of months and my husband taught me how to drive when I was 16!!)




Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Kelly Saffell
Posted by Ann Doyle , Dec 10,2001,14:27 Top of Thread Archive
Most 17 year olds don't have boy friends. When she's ready, she'll find the right one.
I used to be a runner and most runners are male, don't smoke and are healty and eat right. I always thought it would be a good way to meet a guy. I just never dreamed of not being able to run. Ann D.



Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Ann Doyle
Posted by Virginia , Dec 10,2001,17:07 Top of Thread Archive
Funny you should mention running. My daughter was here over the weekend to run a marathon and had two girl friends with her. They were cheering everyone on and someone made the comment that since most of the runners were male, maybe the girls were on to something. These are not really girls, but women, unmarried and in their thirties. All three are single and enjoying it. Not everyone has to have a boyfriend all the time. But when they do date, they often date other athletes who understand their passion for that sort of thing.



Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile
Re: DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD

Re : DESPARETE 17 YEAR OLD --- Becca
Posted by kerry horton (KERRY HORTON,kerry horton), Dec 11,2001,19:29 Top of Thread Archive
Hi Becca:
It sounds like you have a pretty precious gift - a 17 daughter who confides in you. How lucky you both are!
I think Shirley hit the nail on the head. My advice would be to do what she loves and the rest will surely fall into place. I am lucky enough to have a Mom who has always advised me to do that, so I took her advice and took flying lessons. That's where I met husband - when I wasn't even looking - that is until he walked into the room and introduced himself and I almost choked on my lunch... the rest is history. Happy times.
Good luck!
Kerry in CT




Recommend Original Message Top of Thread Where am I? Current pageAuthor Profile