Posted by: Ann Doyle ®
01/04/2003, 18:49:20
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And the moderators are like all caring mothers and all knowing teachers; They are here to help and protect like policemen, if you are behaving yourself, they are your friends and helpers. If you are up to no good, You know, I don't know what they would do because I haven't seen that situation yet. Ann Doyle
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Posted by: Delaine Inman ®
01/04/2003, 20:52:23
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Ask Shirley........they put you in cyber jail!! As a matter of fact several of us have worn cyber stripes if we post too much or too long. oh well..........it's ok.
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Posted by: Sally - in - Idaho ®
01/04/2003, 21:18:53
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I insisted on having stripes that went up and down, rather than round and round ... so I'd look taller and thinner! I learned my lesson on just one trip to jail and have been staying out of trouble since then.Sally in Idaho
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Posted by: Sally - in - Idaho ®
01/04/2003, 20:36:08
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Well said, Judy. We seem to return to each of those stages: denial, anger and acceptance off and on and probably will always do so. Just when I think I'm doing well at the "acceptance" level, something hits and puts me back at the "anger" level ... never "denial," because there is no way to deny I've got this cruddy condition.I've been back on the "anger" kick lately, feeling so frustrated at being left out of fun things, but not wanting to push myself into them and ruin the fun for others. One of my sons took his dad and two brothers on a vacation to California to attend the Rose Bowl game (Dad is a Cougar alum), and I felt sad that I couldn't go, too. He would have taken me, but there was no way that I could keep up with them --- even my 71-year-old husband can run a fast pace. Had I gone along, someone would have had to stay back with me to make sure I was not falling, the bright light would have been blinding, and I would have slowed things down so much that no one, myself included, could have enjoyed it. So I listened happily when they returned last night, full of tales of what they had done and seen, and I'm thankful that they had such a good time together and built some memories. Then on the 2nd of January, I again played airport taxi driver when my mother, accompanied by my grand-daughter, went trekking off to San Diego for a week. A couple of weeks ago I was invited to a retirement dinner for the husband of one of my very best friends. It was at the casino, only three miles from town, but there had been a little bit of snow, making the road slick and it began to sleet. There was no way in heck I could get there. My husband cannot drive at night. I can a little bit if it's not raining or snowing. My friend was sad that I wasn't there, and so was I. Did anyone think to call and offer me a ride? No. Not that they were unthinking, they just "didn't think" until it was over with and they asked why I wasn't there. So, have I been feeling sorry for myself? You bet! Does it do any good? Not really, but it's a feeling that hits every now and then. Enough of my complaining. Just acknowledging that the battle is an on-going one to accept and be grateful for what one does have and can do. Sorry to be so lond-winded. Sally in North Idaho
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Posted by: Shirley-Arkansas-USA ®
01/04/2003, 21:44:47
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My emotions bounce all over the place. Even when I'm not up to posting, I still continue to read the bb and it is somehow comforting to me to know that it will be here. It is so very therapeutic to talk about things and to share the problems and frustrations.I probably will always be embarrassed about being on SSD. I don't like for people to know. There is an understanding here of the basic and fundamental problems that we deal with on a day to day basis that most of us probably won't find anywhere else. Shirley in Arkansas-51/BEB/Apraxia for 3 1/2 years on SSD/wife and mother and caregiver to father
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Posted by: June in Toronto ®
01/05/2003, 07:55:02
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Being able to share with our bulletin board friends is essential for my well being. No matter how hard my dearest friends try to understand, they don't. They still give me candles as gifts and I can longer tell them gently that I can't use them as the eye pain can be so very bad. I put them out unlit for a while, then pass them on to the church bazzar or such. Curtailing activities has been difficult - not being able to go to a theatre, when given tickets, because of strobe lighting for instance - again and again I try to explain to the givers, but they just don't get it. Not going out most nights in a car during the winter months (never driving) but even as a passenger its so very difficult having to protect the eyes from flashing lights and taking an anti-nausea med. You all know the stories. I have found that since I started yoga classes almost 1 year ago, combined with an 8-week meditation for life course I recently took, which combines meditation and yoga, that I have more skills now on a daily basis for deflating the anger, frustration, etc, caused by this disease (I still choose to call it a disease). I am still working on my humour (Ann you make me laugh with some of your posts:-)), but it is all an on-going challenge. Best wishes to all my bb buddies. Love June in Toronto
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Posted by: ClaireW ®
01/05/2003, 08:39:20
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I agree about the sharing. The last couple of days my face has been really unflattering...mouth spasming down..I look like an elderly pipe smoker without the pipe! Today at church one of the young people asked if he could take my photo for a party game..we are having a church party next week...identify the person from a small bit of their face..I really didn't want my photo taken today...go on they said...we will only use the good bits.........I knew that you would all understand how I felt!!!!!!!!
Like has been said before...I really do miss my face at times.
Love Claire
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Posted by: Ann Doyle ®
01/05/2003, 11:22:25
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I know how much that can hurt Claire. The first time that I was in Wal Mart and noticed a couple of pre-schoolers staring at me. I felt like a freak in the circus. And that last comment was uncalled for and shows my thoughtlessnes. Ann Doyle
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Posted by: Ann Doyle ®
01/05/2003, 11:18:11
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Thank June. I love to hear that. Was always standing out in the hall in grade school for the same thing or at least talking. Later on I go even by becoming a teacher and got paid for it. The talking, not the laughing. Ann Doyle
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